Eminem - The ringer

Yeah, yo, I'm just gonna write down my first thoughts and see where this takes me, ’cause I feel like I wanna punch the world in the fuckin' face right now, yeah!


Let me explain just how to make greatness,
Straight out the gate, I'm ’bout to break you down,
Ain't no mistakes allowed, but make no mistake, I'm 'bout,
To rape the alphabet, I may raise some brows,
If I press the issue just to get the anger out,
Full magazine could take Staples out,
Savage but ain't thinkin' 'bout no bank account,
But bitch, I'm off the chain like Kala Brown,
Motherfucker, shut the fuck up when I’m talkin’, lil' bitch,
I’m sorry, wait, what's your talent? Oh, critiquin',
My talent? Oh, bitch, I don't know who the fuck y’all are,
To give a sub-par bar, even have an opinion of you,
You mention me, millions of views, attention in news,
I mention you, lose-lose for me, win-win for you,
Billions of views, your ten cents are two,
Skim through the music to give shit reviews,
To get clicks, but bitch, you just lit the fuse,
Don't get misconstrued, business as us',
Shit-list renewed, so get shit to do,
Or get dissed, 'cause I just don't get,
What the fuck half the shit is that you're listenin' to,
Do you have any idea how much I hate this choppy flow,
Everyone copies though? Probably no,
Get this fuckin' audio out my Audi yo, adiós,
I can see why people like Lil Yachty, but not me though,
Not even dissin', it just ain't for me,
All I am simply is just an MC,
Maybe "Stan" just isn't your cup of tea,
Maybe your cup's full of syrup and lean,
Maybe I need to stir up shit, preferably,
Shake the world up if it were up to me,
Paul wants me to chill, y'all want me to ill,
I should eat a pill, probably I will,
Old me kill the new me, watch him bleed to death,
I breathe on the mirror, I don't see my breath,
Possibly I'm dead, I must be possessed,
Like an evil spell, I'm E-V-I-L,
Jam a Crest Whitestrip in the tip of my dick,
With an ice pick, stick it in a vice grip,
Hang it on a spike fence, bang it with a pipe wrench,
While I take my ballsack and flick it like a light switch,
Like vice-president Mike Pence,
Back up on my shit in a sidekick as I lay it on a spike strip,
These are things that I'd rather do than hear you on a mic,
Since nine tenths of your rhyme is about ice and,
Jesus Christ, man, how many times is,
Someone gonna fuck on my bitch?,
You won't ever see Em icy,
But as cold as I get on the M-I-C,
I polarize shit, so the Thames might freeze,
And your skull might split like I passed you upside it,
Bitch, I got the club on smash like a nightstick,
Turn down for what?,
I ain't loud enough, nah, turn the Valium up!,
'Cause I don't know how I'm gonna get your mouths to shut,
Now when it doesn't matter what caliber,
I spit at, I'll bet a hundred thousand bucks,
You'll turn around and just be like, "Man, how the fuck,
Sourpuss gonna get mad just 'cause his album sucks?
And now he wants to take it out on us.",
But last week, an ex-fan mailed me a copy,
Of The Mathers LP to tell me to study,
It'll help me get back to myself and she'll love me,
I mailed the bitch back and said if I did that,
I'd just be like everyone else in the fucking industry,
Especially an effing Recovery clone of me,
So finger-bang, chicken wang, MGK, Iggy 'zae,
Lil Pump, Lil Xan imitate Lil Wayne,
I should aim at everybody in the game, pick a name,
I'm fed up with bein' humble,
And rumor is I'm hungry, I'm sure you heard bumblings,
I heard you wanna rumble like an empty stomach,
I heard your mumblin', but it's jumbled in mumbo-jumbo,
The era that I'm from will pummel you, that's what it's comin' to,
What the fuck you're gonna do? Who are you runnin' to?
I'm gonna crumble you and I'll take a number two,
And dump on you, if you ain't Joyner,
If you ain't Kendrick or Cole or Sean then you're a goner,
I'm 'bout to bring it to anyone in this bitch who want it,
I guess when you walk into BK you expect a Whopper,
You can order a Quarter Pounder when you go to McDonald's,
But if you're lookin' to get a porterhouse you better go get Revival,
But y'all are actin' like I tried to serve you up a slider,
Maybe the vocals shoulda been auto-tuned,
And you woulda bought it,
But sayin' I no longer got it,
'Cause you missed the line and never caught it,
'Cause it went over your head, because you're too stupid to get it,
'Cause you're mentally retarded, but pretend to be the smartest,
With your expertise and knowledge, but you'll never be an artist,
And I'm harder on myself than you could ever be regardless,
What I'll never be is flawless, all I'll ever be is honest,
Even when I'm gone, they're gonna say I brought it,
Even when I hit my forties like a fuckin' alcoholic,
With a bottle full of malt liquor,
But I couldn't bottle this shit any longer,
The fact that I know that I'ma hit my bottom,
If I don't pull myself from the jaws of defeat and rise to my feet,
I don't see why y'all even started with me,
I get impeached, my enemies die,
I don't cease fire 'til at least all are deceased,
I'm eastside, never be caught slippin',
Now you see why I don't sleep, not even a wink, I don't blink,
I don't doze off, I don't even nod to the beats,
I don't even close my fuckin' eyes when I sneeze,
"Aw, man! That BET cypher was weak, it was garbage,
The Thing ain't even orange—oh my God, that's a reach!",
Shout to all my colorblind people,
Each and everyone of y'all, if you call a fire engine green,
Aquamarine, or you think water is pink,
"Dawg, that's a date." "Looks like an olive to me.",
"Look, there's an apple!" "No, it's not, it's a peach!",
So finger-bang, Pootie Tang, Burger King,
Gucci Gang, dookie, dang,
Charlamagne gonna hate anyway, doesn't matter what I say,
Give me Donkey of the Day,
What a way for 2018 to get underway,
But I'm gonna say everything that I wanna say,
Welcome to the slaughterhouse, bitch!,
Invite 'em in like a One A Day; I'm not done,
'Cause I feel like the beast of burden,
That line in the sand, was it even worth it?
'Cause the way I see people turning's,
Makin' it seem worthless, it's startin' to defeat the purpose,
I'm watchin' my fan base shrink to thirds,
And I was just tryin' to do the right thing, but word,
Has the court of public opinion reached a verdict,
Or still yet to be determined?,
'Cause I'm determined to be me, critique the worship,
But if I could go back, I'd at least reword it,
And say I empathize with the people this evil serpent,
Sold the dream to that he's deserted,
But I think it's workin',
These verses are makin' him a wee bit nervous,
And he's too scurred to answer me with words,
'Cause he knows that he will lyrically get murdered,
But I know at least he's heard it,
'Cause Agent Orange just sent the Secret Service,
To meet in person to see if I really think of hurtin' him,
Or ask if I'm linked to terrorists,
I said, "Only when it comes to ink and lyricists.",
But my beef is more media journalists,
I said my beef is more meaty, a journalist,
Can get a mouthful of flesh,
And yes, I mean eating a penis,
'Cause they been pannin' my album to death,
So I been givin' the media fingers,
Don't wanna turn this to a counselling sesh,
But they been puttin' me through the wringer,
So I ain't ironin' shit out with the press,
But I just took this beat to the cleaners